The Metal Gear Saga Explained

Yes, Metal Gear Solid 4 hits shelves in less than two weeks and I’m guessing most of you are excited. Some, like me, are excited because they finally get to find out what the eff happens after MGS2 while the rest finally have a reason to buy a PS3. Whichever category you fall under we can all agree that the series’ storyline is more confusing than Miley Cyrus. What is she? Is she two people in one? Is she Miley by day and Hannah Montana by night, like, I dunno, Batman? Does that mean she’s a superhero? Why do I her see or hear her name almost everyday? Great, now my head hurts.

Luckily, 1UP’s Jeremy Parish, a deity amongst gaming journalists, is here to explain it all. He does a damn good job of it, too, unlike Clarissa. She never really explained anything. Follow the link below the catch-up on the tangled web that is the MGS Saga so won’t feel lost once MGS4 drops June 12th.

1UP’s Metal Gear: WTFiction!? v2.0

LOL: Penny Arcade on Bioshock PS3

There’s so much truth to this strip that it’s unbelievable.

The Comeback

I apologize for ignoring my precious little blog for the past couple weeks. I’m a mess. School’s been kicking Ultra Combo-ing my dumbass on a regular basis for the past three weeks but it should all end by 10am tomorrow when I finish my last final exam. There’s so much to write about, too: GTA4, Mario Kart, The World Ends with You, my unhealthy addiction to Call of Duty 4…I’ve missed out on a lot.

Things will change this weekend. Promise.

Oh, what’s that? You’ve heard enough of CoD4? Too bad.

GTA IV Launch: Rochester, NY

There’s nothing like waiting in line for an hour and half with your fellow dorks! </sarcasm> My entire campus decided to show up at midnight to pick up GTA IV as they did with Halo 3 and Brawl. One entrance to the mall was left open and there were probably five or so security guards to make sure no one got shanked over a copy of GTA. Gamestop ran the event decently; you had to go through one line to pre-pay for your Niko Bellic and then get in another to pick it up. There was this one kid who threw fit for having to make his way through two lines. I don’t know what happened to him, though. I’m sure they threw some manga his way to keep him calm.

These are the pictures I took before my damn battery ran out.

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March Hardware Sales Madness: Xbox Strikes Back, Nintendo Towers Over the Rest

The 360 managed to outsell the PS3 by a mere 5,000 units, proving the few months that MS was beaten by Sony might have just been a fad. We’ll see if that holds up. The Xbox Rainbow Six Vegas faithful probably had something to do with this with R6V2 selling strong on the software side of things. The PSP had two solid releases in Crisis Core and God of War: COO and it performed considerably well.

And then there’s Nintendo. They’re still printing money. That’s about it, really. Oh, and some game called Super Smash Bros. Brawl came out in March, too. Maybe that has something to do with the Wii performing incredibly well. Maybe, I dunno. Just a wild guess.

Nintendo Wii – 721,000
Nintendo DS – 698,000
PlayStation Portable – 297,000
Xbox 360 – 262,000
PlayStation 3 – 257,000
PlayStation 2 – 216,000

[Kotaku]

March Software Sales Madness: Consider the Competition “Final Smashed”

Ah, memories. About two years ago I remember a friend of mine bursting into my room at 1 AM to show me the megaton of all trailers. Yes, it was the E3 2006 trailer of Super Smash Bros. Brawl. The same trailer that wet your pants when you found out Solid (effin‘) Snake would be breaking necks in the Nintendo beat ‘em up. Now that its way in the past, I can safely say I watched that trailer about a hundred times (yes, really) within the next couple of days. The next two years would test my patience unlike any other two years of my life.

Today, I’m almost as happy as I when the game was finally released. Why? Because Brawl sold 2.7 million copies in the month of March. That’s Halo 3 statues people, without the $10 million marketing budget. I’m happy because I can safely that my favorite franchise is now a franchise that can not be ignored. The numbers, please.

Want Aisle: Metal Gear Solid 4 Bluetooth Headset

Ah, the bluetooth headset. Some find it to be a wireless solution while others (including myself) awkwardly look at its owners as if they’re talking to themselves. In general, I’m not much of a fan of these doohickeys, nor of cellphones in general. But once in a while a unique item graces my senses and changes my opinion on certain gadgets, much like the iPhone did for me with cellphones. This might be another one.

This bad boy will be unleashed fro $60 on June 12, which just happens to be the same day Metal Gear Solid 4 comes out. It resembles the sweet eye-patch (aka Solid Eye System. The McGyver of all eye-patches) that our boy Snake will be wearing throughout the new game. Hmm, looks kinda big. Oh well, I’ll happily use it within the privacy of my own home as a Playstation Network headset or maybe while I’m driving. But wearing it out in public? I’ll have to think about it. Still gives off a whiff of want, though.

Yes, it is quite pricey, but it’s a price you’ll have to pay to be that much more like Solid Snake.

WANT LEVEL: 8/10

[Kotaku]

Want Aisle: Smash Bros Chuck Taylors Made By RIT Alum

For once I’m actually proud of my college, the Rochester Institute of Technology. Here I was thinking those Brawl Force Ones were the sweetest game kicks I’ve ever laid eyes on, this comes by may: Hi-Top Chuck Taylors with the Smash Bros. Melee cast hand-painted on the side. Brilliant.

This masterpiece is the work of a Cole Ranze, who’s putting these bad boys up for auction on eBay. The gargantuan Smash fanboy in me wants the bid on them so bad but then I realize have to digest food, which costs money, in order to live and breathe. Being a college student sucks.

Bravo, Mr. Ranze. I kindly ask the person who wins the auction to not wear them but instead frame them (preferably in some crystal casing) to forever maintain their beauty.

BID AWAY PEOPLE!

Want Level: 10/10

COD4 Variety Map Pack Impressions

Just when I was getting tired of grenade spamming the crap out of Vacant, Infinity Ward decides to release a new map pack for Call of Duty 4. It’s about time. I’m sure the COD faithful have been jealously eyeing the Halo camp and the community love Bungie has been giving them. For 800 MS Points ($10 for those of you who think points are point-less) we get four maps: Creek, Broadcast, Chinatown, and Killhouse.

Want Aisle: GTAIV Limited Edition Xbox 360

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Too bad they’re only 500 of them. And you have to be as cool as Mark Ecko to get one. Sucks to be us, huh?

Hey, Microsoft! How about bundling these with a copy of GTA4 for a high price? Do you guys not like making incredible amounts of money?

WANT Level: 9.5/10