Live Free or Die Hard

I decided to spoil myself by watching Live Free of Die Hard on opening night. I had my doubts about this movie when it was announced (about a year ago) due to the fact that the Die Hard is one of my favorite action movies of all time. Fortunately, our good friend John McLane delivers on his latest bad day on the job.You should know the deal by now (if you don’t, shame); Bruce Willis plays NYPD detective John McClane, also known as the unluckiest cop in the world. Whenever he seems to be having a normal day at work terrorists decide they want to screw with America. This time around he’s dealing with a bunch of teched-out, geeked-up electronic terrorists (most likely RIT alums), led by future Hitman, Tim Olyphant. They plan on performing a “firesale” (where everything must go), where by hacking all the computers in the US they can breakdown the country’s infrastructure piece-by-piece. And since everything is operated by computers nowadays, the US is literally f*cked.

How do you fight nerds? By using other nerds, and luckily our favorite cop has supernerd Matthew Farrell (played by Justin Long, the same guy who invents a fake college in Accepted) by his side at all times. They demonstrate the perfect blend of brains and brawn. McLane talks smack and kicks the crap out of anyone in their way while Farrell hacks open a new gateway. Teamwork at its finest.

What makes this movie stand above the rest this summer are the stunts. There is no weak-sauce CG bullcrap here (if you want some, Spiderman 3 is probably still in theaters). Live Free or Die Hard kicks it old school with real-o-vision, straight out of the 80’s. The stunts are real. The fights are gritty and very believable (as in Jason Bourne-believable). This movie is a breath of fresh air for action fans who have been bombarded with countless bluescreen fights over the past few years.

Okay, I don’t want to talk about the plot anymore and spoil it for those who haven’t seen the movie yet. So let’s round it up.

• Die Hard fans will be pleased; it’s the best Die Hard since the original.
• A must-see for action junkies: real stunts, believable fights, explosions. It’s got it all (well except for cars that transform into alien robots, but we’ll be seeing those next week).
• Bruce Willis brings that “I ain’t dead yet” humor fans of the original love, and he brings it when it’s needed. Justin Long’s sarcasm also adds to the joke bag.
• Maggie Q fans (as in me!) will be pleased; she’s hot, and beats people up. My nominee for hottest villain of 2007.

Although I’m not big on reviewing movies (I feel they rely heavily on a person’s opinion and taste, unlike video games), this one scores a “JAM!” on my action movie DIDYOUSEETHATSH*T?-O-METER ™. Think of this spectrum (below) as 1 to 5 stars, then maybe it’ll make more sense.

MEH OK SWEET JAM! ON SOME CRAZY JOHN WOO/MATRIX HYBRID SH*T!

“Jam!” = ‘Dammmmnnnnnnn!’ x 3. You say it when something outrageous happens.

Hopefully this will help explain it better.

Ok…enough with the iPhone. Please.

I was only slightly annoyed with the iPhone hype machine until I saw this:

Come on people! Get yourselves together!

I love the iPhone. I really do. And I’m not a big fan of cellphones all together (isn’t the whole point of them just to make effin’ phone calls?!]. Apple-doubters and cellphone know-it-alls (*cough* Sony Ericsson fanboys *cough*) have been paying alot of attention to its flaws and throwing some serious ahte, but I truly feel this phone is “revolutionary.” Why?

1) Although it doesn’t have 3G whatchamacallits or transfers meaningless crap at the speed of light like the latest phones do, it takes what has already been done and strives to perfect it. That’s it. It’s so simple. It’s what the majority of people want: simplicity. Cellphone geeks can whine about this phone all they want, but it doesn’t matter: they are the minority. Doesn’t this remind you about how Nintendo realized that they’re more people that don’t play video games religiously than people that do. And look at Nintendo now. (Yes, if you just read that link, you read it correctly. A company that makes only games is worth more than the entire Sony empire. The empire that has a dozen of its products in your house since you were born. )

For a person, such as myself, who isn’t into phones, that’s all i need. A phone that doesn’t try to do everything, but does everything it has well. I’d choose the iPhone’s lovely new, easy-to-navigate interface over some new Nokia N348975340 with like 25 buttons.

2) Apple, being the marketing & PR geniuses they are, have sucked you into their hype deathtrap. You might hate this phone, but you cannot avoid this phone. You might be telling your friends that it’s overrated, overpriced and over-hyped, but you’re still talking about it. You’re spreading its awareness. See? They’ve won. When’s the last time you’ve seen such a fuss over about a phone?!! A FREAKING PHONE! And by equipping it with an iPod ,they’ve made the hundred or so people who bought iPods turn their heads. My marketing professor would be proud.

So, yes, I think the phone is lovely (and shiny), but get a hold of yourselves people! Take it easy.

Imagine what would happen if the iPhone was cheap? Ugh. I don’t even want to think about it.

Tomorrow is gonna suck.

New GTA IV Trailer

This game is gonna be soooo bananas.

For an in-depth, fanboyish trailer analysis, head over to Gamevideos.com. Hosted some of the great guys from 1UP: Mark McDonald, Greg Ford, and Dave Ellis.

My Top 10 Game Dreams

…that will probably never come true.

1. Legend of Zelda MMORPG – Hopefully developed by Blizzard or BioWare. If you think about it, Hyrule is basically made for an MMO waiting to happen. You’ve got lots of races to choose from: Human, Kokiri, Deku, Zora, Goron and Gerudo. This would probably the (only) gateway drug that finally gets to try the (soul-sucking) MMORPG genre.
2. Remake of Perfect Dark 64
3. Kingdom Hearts Wii – I’m a big KH (and Disney) fan and I would love to feel as if I was wielding a keyblade.
4. Devil May Cry Wii – I think I have the button layout down. Move the remote to slash/hit. B-button controls your right-hand weapon, while Z-button controls your left. D-pad lets you cycle through guns/swords/fighting styles. Wii-mote movements translate to Dante’s left weapon while Nunchaku movements activate his left weapon (if dual-wielding, like Agni & Rudra). I want this to happen so bad. I want to feel like I’m actually controlling my ass-kicking, face-breaking, chain-linking combos.
5. Sequel to Smash Bros. Melee Super Smash Bros. DS – Smash, on-the-go. Wi-fi Connection. DS-Wii Compatability.
6. Voltron - with online co-op. Each player assumes the role of a lion. Every player must be alive yo be able to form Voltron. And of course, from blazing sword.
7. MacGyver Wii -You know you want it.
8. Rock Band: Red Hot Chili Peppers Edition
9. True console Pokemon online MMORPG – NINTENDO? WHY HAVEN’T YOU MADE THIS ALREADY?!! THIS WOULD SIGNAL THE END OF THE CONSOLE WAR! Haven’t they realized this? What is wrong with you guys?!!
10. Metroid Prime Online – not online multiplayer though. You create/customize your own bounty hunter. Each day (or week) a new bounty goes up and you have to travel the galaxy searching for clues in order to locate the bounty’s whereabouts. You could team up with other hunters and split the bounty accordingly.

I cry at night because…..they’ll never come true.

No, I actually don’t.

One more reason to watch Transfomers…

…although you should already want to see it.

After watching the Transformers trailer before Fantastic Four 2 (meh, nothing special, btw), I realized how hot that chick in the movie is. Behold, Megan Fox.

 

I hope she can act. Does that really matter, though? I’ll leave the acting to Optimus Prime.

Shia LeBeouf, I am officially hating on you.

Chu is Now Playing: Perfect Dark 64. A Game Way Ahead of its Time.

After the Halo 3 Beta ended I was in search for a quality shooter to cure my itchy trigger finger. The 360 is home to a number of top-notch titles in the FPS department, which is probably the most dominant genre on the platform. My friend Taf recently dug deep into GRAW 2’s online multiplayer and highly recommended it for its more tactical, realistic gunplay. I also downloaded the Rainbow Six Vegas demo not too long ago and it’s definitely impressive (especially its cover system that tops Gears’). I wouldn’t mind getting more acquainted with these two great games, but sadly they aren’t what I’m looking for. I don’t want to command and implement squad tactics while shooting shit (I’m bad at multi-tasking). I just want to shoot shit, peace the fuck out, shoot some more, and then repeat (à la Goldeneye). No shooter has given that satisfaction since Perfect Dark 64, and luckily I decided to jack a buddy’s N64 for the summer.

“…a game so ahead of its time that when they made a sequel years later, they had to number the new one as a prequel.”– Stephen Totilo, video game reporter, MTV News

The above quote describes Perfect Dark in a nutshell. It also describes how inferior its sequel, Perfect Dark Zero for the Xbox 360, was in comparison. PD64 had all you could want in a classic console FPS and more. Although Goldeneye 007 invented the console FPS, Perfect Dark nearly perfected it. Unfortunately, it was released in the wrong time frame.

For those who hate David Blaine…

…as much as I do. He creeps me out.

And now for Part 2

LOL!

Gaming podcasts

Yeah, I haven’t written something worthy in while. My bad. But I’m back, and I’m in effin’ Beast Mode!

I spend some of my free time (meaning the when I have nothing to do at my work desk) listening to a lot of game podcasts. They’re a great way to understand how gaming editors and journalists view the industry as well as new and upcoming games. One podcast stands above the rest though.

1UP Yours is the essential gaming podcast, in my opinion. The 1UP network is made up of separate magazines and sites, such as Electronic Gaming Monthly, Gamevideos.com, Official Playstation Magazine and Games for Windows Magazine. The podcast stars regualrs Garnett Lee (host, 1UP), John Davison (1UP) and Shane Bettenhausen (EGM). Guests appear frequently and range form other 1UP editors (Michael McDonald being my favorite) to well known game developers (such as Denis Dyack, founder of Silicon Knights. They made Eternal Darkness, which was an incredible game).

Sad: The unwanted PSP

via VG Cats

This reminds me of when I ask my friends what their playing on their PSP.

…MP3’s. Not games, but MP3’s. I have an iPod for that. Poor PSP.

This…will…never…get…old.

PRICELESS: When a kid gets a reverse flash-kick to the face with added Street Fighter sound effects.

As of right now I have watched this video 14 times and it still hasn’t lost its charm.

Thank you, Guile.