How to Avoid Watching Crappy Movies on the Big Screen

For the few years  I lived in Ethiopia (1999-2002) I realized how easily we take movie theaters for granted. For those three years I lived without access to a legitimate source of newly released movies. In other words, there weren’t any cinemas, cineplex’s (what the hell in plural for ‘cineplex’ anyway? ‘Cinplexes?’ ‘Cinepli?’ I have no idea), or theaters showing the latest films when I was growing up in Addis Ababa. We had to hit up video rental stores for bootleg cassette tape copies of DVD screeners; it was the only way. So, being starved for so long from great cinema experiences, it shames me when my friends waste their $9.25 on The Grudge.

Not everybody has the luxury of having the great movie theater experience, so why waste it on a crappy movie? How silly will you feel if after you’ve just spent ten bucks (which will be missed, if you’re a college student) on a terrible that took two hours of your life that you’re never going to get back.  You could have done something productive with those two hours. But nope. You just had to go watch Van Helsing because the trailer looked”cool.” Well, here’s how to avoid all that from happening.

If you don’t already know, RottenTomatoes.com is a handy site that separates the good movies from the rest of the junk. It takes all the major reviews (from websites, blogs, and magazines) in the country and judges them as ‘negative’ or ‘positive’. If 60% of a movie’s reviews are positive, it receives a ‘Fresh Tomato’; anything less gets a ‘Rotten Tomato.’  Quite simple, yes. But don’t be so quick to jump into this system just yet; there are some guidelines I like to follow while using such a valuable tool.

• Any movie that lingers just below 60% (somewhere in the 50’s) is still worth taking a chance on. Transformers got a 57%, and I actually liked it, however Michael Bay-ish it may have been.
• Be careful when using RT to judge ‘rotten’ comedies; Hollywood critics will rarely have the same sense of humor as you do. Comedies are heavily based on your tastes and what you consider funny or not. Some people consider Freddy Got Fingered to be hilarious, but not Old School. Yes, we do live in a strange world.
• Any comedy that’s considered ‘Fresh’ is definitely worth seeing. Comedies usually get creamed by critics. Knocked Up, The 40 year Old Virgin and Wedding Crashers are perfect examples of fresh comedies.

My friends would always nag at me for being so critical when picking out movies to go see on the weekend. The called RottenTomatoes inconsistent and ridiculed it. One day, I warned them that spending money to go see The Grudge on the big screen would be a big mistake. They didn’t listen. They came back confessing that they had fallen asleep about 5 times during the movie. They were then converted.

I’ve been able to convert many of my friends to the RT way over my three years at college, and they’ve never looked back. Use it, wisely.

Credit goes out to my sister, who was probably the first person I know to find out about RT.

And yes, I did go see Van Helsing when it came out. My friends all wanted to see it, plus the trailer was kinda cool,  plus Kate Beckinsale is hot, and Hugh Jackman was SO bad-ass after X-Men 2. What did I have to lose? My pride, apparently.

Watch Out for This Kid: Jonah Hill

You may not recognize the name, but you might recognize the face. Jonah Hill has starred in a slew of comedies in recent times, but usually goes unappreciated. Remember that kid in The 40 Year Old Virgin that wanted to buy those outrageous shoes from the eBay store? Or that dude in the wiener-suit pledging for a frat in Accepted. Yeah, the same one that screams like a girl and later reveals that he thinks of his frat brother’s girlfriend when he masturbates.

One of my favorite roles that Jonah has played was in Knocked Up, where he stars as the main character’s good friend (conveniently named “Jonah”). Every line that came out of his mouth was absolutely hilarious. Don’t even get me started about some of the deleted scenes (you’ve gotta see them) that I ran into online. I guess they were taken out because the director thought the crowd might choke to death from all the laughing.

Jonah finally has a leading role in the new move Superbad, which comes out on August 17th. The movie follows two high school guys on a quest to hook up with girls before the graduate.

This movie looks like it might follow in the footsteps of Virgin and Knocked Up as being another one of those overlooked, sleeper-hit comedies of the summer. Be sure not to miss this one. And if it’s not funny, then you can blame me.

Extended Resident Evil 5 Trailer

MUST SEE!

I’m so over the latest Metal Gear Solid trailer. Resident Evil 5 makes RE4 look like Nintendogs.

If you have Xbox Live or PlayStation Network, go download it and watch it in 720p glory

Why does it have to be in Africa? Damn it. I’m sure some of you are saying to yourselves “So that explains why the zombies are so damn fast this time around.” Screw you guys.

Significant Smash Bros. Update: Footstool Jump

…also known as “SSBU“. Because half of the updates at smashbros.com are worth paying atention to.

Footstool Jump
via smashbros.com

“What the heck is a Footstool Jump?! Well, it’s a cool technique. Basically, you step on your opponent and jump off! That’s it!”

“Jump! Now press the jump button with perfect timing…”

“Boing!”

“And then you jummmmmmmmp!”

“Using your enemy’s spine like a spring to launch you into the air is pretty fun. What? You say it doesn’t have much strategic value? No, no, no. That’s hardly the case. You can use it to perform Meteor Smashes! Incredible!“

I’m sure a lot of sure are wondering why I’m making such a big deal about this technique. For those who might not know, in Smash, a performing a good “spike” (also know as a ‘Meteor Smash’) is like smacking your opponent in the face and telling he (or she) sucks at life. It’s a move that, if it were translated in English, means “shut the f*ck up,” much like a melee to the face in Halo. So, basically, this move gives Smash brethren a new way to disgrace each other. I can’t wait to try it out. Let’s just hope we don’t all abuse it.

Things Are Getting Ugly: NPD Video Game Sales – June 2007

The Nintendo domination continues once again. The Nintendo DS had a phenomenal month by moving over half a million units. The Wii, like the DS, seems to be able to print money; it came in second by selling roughly 380,000 consoles, an improvement over last month’s numbers. The PSP is doing incredibly well at 290K units, but always seems to have its shine taken away by the monster that is the Nintendo DS. The evergreen PS2 is still banging out great numbers, and also managed to outsell the Xbox 360 once again. Last, but not least, comes the PS3; although its numbers have improved since May, it’s still moving quite sluggish. Very sluggish actually. So sluggish that the Game Boy Advance, a system that is almost considered dead, managed to beat it. Next month should be promising for the PS3 due to the recent price drop clearance sale.

via Joystiq

• Nintendo DS: 561.9K
• Nintendo Wii: 381.8K
• Sony PSP: 290.1K
• Sony PlayStation 2: 270.7K
• Microsoft Xbox 360: 198.4K
• Sony PlayStation 3: 98.5K

The software battle is very similar; Mario and his crew came out on top once again. The lackluster, waggle-fest that is Mario Party 8 (somehow) managed to top the charts, proving that casual gamers pay no attention to review scores. None whatsoever. Seriously.

via GameDaily BIZ

Can anyone, or anything, stop Nintendo?

I’m looking at you Master Chief.

The funny thing is that as much as Nintendo is completely obliterating the competition in America, it’s doing even more so over in Japan. Every single piece of software in the Japan’s top 10 was built for a Nintendo machine. Things are freakin’ hideous over there.

“The Tournémon, Part One”

 

via Penny Arcade

5 Things I’ve Learned from ‘Entourage’

How come no one told me Entourage was so good?!! I’ve been hooked on it ever since I started watching it. I’ve burned through two seasons in about two days and I’m now about halfway through the third. I’m showing no signs of slowing down either. Aside from being just a show, Entourage teaches you some not so important life lessons. This is what I’ve picked up so far:

1. Mooching off your friends can be freaking sweet.
2. Mooching off your friends to get with models is even sweeter.
3. Mandy Moore might break your heart if you’re not careful. If you meet her do not trust her!
4. Places where 1 out of every 2 women are hot do actually exist.
5. Everyone agent should have a gay secretary named Lloyd. It makes your agency twice as hilarious.

Um, yeah, thats about it. They might not be useful (or wise), but whatever.

See, now, if I ever happen to run into Mandy Moore someday I’ll know not to fall for her. I’m so prepared!

p.s. Ari Gold is the MAN.

E3 2007 Wrap: Picks of the Show

The Electronic Entertainment Expo for 2007, the biggest show is gaming, came to an end last weekend. Unlike previous years, this E3 was scaled down and only open to media journalists, developers and other game-related business types. Although the newly-sized E3 broke the dreams of many fanboys who dream of attending the event every year, it did make the stream of information a lot easier to digest for the readers at home, such as myself. Journalists were given ample time to spend with the games in order to provide us with their hands-on impressions, which gives us a broader view on the games we’re excited about.

After much thought, here are 5 games that really stood out and/or nearly made my head explode:

5. Wii Fit – As much as I hate the fact that Nintendo decided to completely ignore it’s hardcore fans (leaving them emotionally scarred), I have to admit that Wii Fit is a great idea. Using the new Wii Balance Board, Wii Fit will give you the benefit of exercising without ever leaving your living room. It host over 40 games and exercises that will keep you in shape and the game keeps track of your weight and BMI as the days go buy. This game is sure to be a hit and ride off the success of Wii Sports; soccer moms and girlfriends are sure to eat this up. This game will sell like crazy due to the good mainstream PR it’s going to gain in the near future. I guarantee it. Think of how many weight conscious people there are in the US. The one’s that want to lose weight but find it hard to stick to a regular workout routine.  The fun aspect of the game will turn working out will keep people interested in sticking to their schedules. Like I said, this…game…will…sell. Period.

Click here to get an idea of how the game works.

4. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare – Not much to be said here. As much as I love bussin’ caps on Nazis, I do appreciate the fact that Call of Duty has gotten a modern face lift. The game looks amazing but I’m really looking forward to the online multiplayer (the Xbox 360 beta is coming soon!). The single-player storyline seems kinda interesting too! That’s a first!

3. Killzone 2 – after the over-hyped trailer from two years ago (the one that displayed supposed in-game footage), Sony and Guerrilla Games had a lot to live up to. Fortunately, they delivered. Killzone 2 sports visuals that match (or even top) that of Gears of War. Halo-killer? I’d say no; Guerilla just doesn’t have the same fan-base and street-cred that Bungie built off Halo 1 & 2. But this game shows that the PS3 means business in the shooter department. Let’s hope the controls and gameplay don’t suck as much as the original Killzone. Check out the trailer here.

2. Rock Band – The Guitar Hero killer from the makers of Guitar Hero. Rock Band let’s you and three friends become virtual rock gods. One person leads with the vocals, two hit up the lead and bass guitars while the last person kills it on the drums. DRUMS!

Downloadable tracks. Downloadable albums. Online mulitplayer. Instant awesomeness.

1. Metal Gear Solid 4 – Unlike the other games on this list MGS4 was not playable at E3, but was presented as a short trailer. MGS trailers have been known to steal the show at previous E3’s, and this just about lived up to the legacy. The trailer starts off slow and seems disappointing at first, that is, until the ending credits are shown. After the credits lies one of the craziest, most badass fight scenes I have ever seen in my life.

Raiden vs Vamp. One has a cybernetic ninja suit, the other simply cannot die (he’s already dead. You freakin’ shot him in the head and drowned his ass in MGS2! ). This kind of fight shouldn’t even be allowed. From here on, there will be no Ninja vs. Vampire fights due to the fact that we cannot handle the craziness (and chest-stabbing with feet) that will ensue.

Aside from the impressive 1st and 3rd part lineup Sony unveiled, this trailer had me sold on the power of the PS3. As soon as Raiden started breakdance fighting whilst balancing on top of his sword (which is a first), I was ready to throw my $600 $500 at Sony without thinking twice. KAZ HIRAI…JACK TRETTON…TAKE MY MONEY AND GIVE ME THIS GAME!!! JUST TAKE IT ALREADY! PLEASE! I’M BEGGING YOU!…greedy bastards.

Luckily the “Early 2008″ release date brought me back to reality. Although, now, I am looking at getting a PS3 sooner rather than later.

Goodbye wuss, crybaby Raiden. Hello Ninja Raiden. They didn’t raise him as an emotionless, blood-hungry child solider for nothing, you know.

 

Honorable Mentions: Halo 3, Resident Evil 5, Super Mario Galaxy, Mass Effect, Metroid Prime 3, Little Big Planet

Super Smash Bros. Brawl would have easily topped my list if Nintendo decided show it in any true form whatsoever.

Rollback: PS3 becomes more affordable

 

After many rumors roaming free over the past couple of days, Sony has finally officially announced a $100 price drop for the PlayStation 3. The 60GB model will now sell for $500 while a new SKU, with 80GB of HDD and MotorStorm included, will go for $600.

Does this all make sense? Yes and no. I’ll break it down from an occasionally-broke college student point-of-view.

WHAT MAKES SENSE
Although this price drop hasn’t reached my personal sweet spot ($200-$300), the 60 gig-er is a pretty good deal. For $500 you’re getting a Blu-Ray player (standalone players cost anywhere over $300), wireless capability, a decently-sized hard drive, HDMI output (which means 1080p deliciousness), and, oh, a gaming console. Real value for you tech-heads out there. It also slaps Microsoft’s Elite Xbox 360 (MS’s most expensive unit) in the face by being only $20 more expensive. For $480, the Elite lacks wireless capability and built-in HD movie playback but does sport a HDMI output and twice the hard disk space. But it is evident that the PS3 crushes the Elite in terms of value.

Whats even better for us college students is that with Sony hot on Microsoft’s heels, Microsoft might be forced to lower their prices on all Xbox 360 SKU’s. Analysts predict that at E3 (gaming’s largest expo), MS will announce the $50-70 price cuts on all their models. Don’t you just love competition?!

WHAT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE
At $500, is it really affordable? Are you still willing to drop half a G on a video game console. I’m still quite reluctant. I mean, I was even kinda pissed that I was spending $400 on a 360. I’m still gonna hold out until some quality titles start rolling out (MGS4, R&C Future, Drake’s Fortune).

Sony still won’t appeal to the common people will this price point like the Wii is (spending $250 is like buying a new camera, or cellphone to regular joes), but they will be hitting the video game enthusiasts, PS2 die-hards, and Sony fanboys who couldn’t afford to dish out that extra Benjamin. I still don’t think this price drop will steal Wii’s thunder, neither does Wedbush Morgan analyst Michael “IKnowMySh*tSoBowToMe” Pachter;

“We think that the $499 PS3 compares quite favorably with the $399 Pro 360 model, which has only a 20Gb hard drive and no HDMI output,” said Pachter. “Because of this favorable comparison, we believe that Microsoft is all but compelled to cut prices, and we think the price cuts will come no later than at Microsoft’s Tuesday night press conference. But that same price pressure won’t affect Nintendo…as sales for both are still very strong and are anticipated to remain so through the end of the year.”- Michael Pachter, Wedbush Morgan

For goodness sake, it sells over 300K a month with no good games out! Imagine what sales will be like when good games (as in Super Smash Bros. Brawl) do come out.

Okay, the 80GB model is very, very stupid. If you are a fool, yes, you will probably end up buying this unit. You’re paying a $100 for 20 more gigs of space and a game. Do me favor: save your money. Head over to this little website called eBay (it’s kinda new, you might have not heard of it) and a buy a copy of MotorStorm for less than $40 (it goes for $60 in retail). Then follow this guide and eBay an internal hard drive that offers twice the space for almost the same price. Et voila! You just told Sony to go screw themselves!

With the PS3 becoming more affordable, the battle between Microsoft and Sony gets bloodier. Meanwhile, Nintendo goes on its own path while using hundred dollar bills as toilet paper and lunch napkins.

New Banner Get!

The other banner was kinda boring, or at least that’s what I thought.

This one has my team on it; Dante, ZS Samus, Snake, Link and Sora.